Smarty Spot

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Communication Breakdown

Relationships are all about communication. And frankly, I'm a little bit concerned about the communication problems around this house. I won't name names, but I just want to say that some people around here need to start listening instead of laughing.

Whenever I talk, the humans (who shall remain nameless) just look at me and laugh. Or they take a picture. Or they say things about how cute I am.

Personally, I find this a little demeaning. And not at all funny.

Here's the breakdown:

Quick bark, ears up means "let's have breakfast." Based on context it might also mean, "What time is breakfast?"

Double or triple bark sometimes means "time for a walk." Otherwise it means, "Time for dinner!"

Multiple barks, ears down, followed by deep gutteral noise means "this is not funny, I need to eat or I'm going to hurt someone."

Look, I hate to air dirty laundry. But I just don't get what's so funny or cute about any of the above statements. I can take a joke just like the next whippet, but I just don't see the humor in starving to death!

So let's put the past behind us and move on. And let's listen to one another. I trust that if you have a bone to pick with me, you'll be honest about it... in fact, a bone would do me some good right about now!


  • At 6:06 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Oh, dearest Smarty,
    I feel your pain. But, you must remember that the human are our servants, and when one finds oneself in your kind of situation, you must revert to remedial training. I think the problem here may be that you are giving them positive reinforcement for their poor behavior.

    When the humans fail to feed you in a timely fashion, you must stop being so cute. I know that is hard for a girl like you, but your current approach is only reinforcing bad behavior. If they don't feed you, you must give the The Look. I know it's hard to do, because I believe deep down you love your humans, but this is about food. You must learn to be tough. If they give you food, then reward them IMMEDIATELY with conintued cute antics.

    I know it's hard to invoke The Look, but if you don't start soon, you may find yourself living with problem humans that will not be as easy to train, alter.

    Yours in sisterhood,

  • At 8:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

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  • At 2:45 PM, Anonymous Telly said…

    Smarty - I completely understand your frustration at being laughed at when you're trying to communicate something. Sometimes my humans just laugh when they look at me - something about my ears growing faster than the rest of me. I start to say that maybe if they fed me more the rest of me would catch up but they just tell me to be quiet and don't bark. It's rough being not quite four months old! (especially when older dogs make disparaging comments about puppies. . . )
    I hope your mom's feeling all right. It doesn't sound like she's looking forward to them. ~Tel

  • At 10:11 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

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