Not So Cool

Let's pretend this last week didn't happen.


But if you want the details, read on...

* * *

Some very tasty things come out of the kitchen freezer. When that door opens and I feel the cool air, my taste buds get ready. A long thawing process usually preceed the meal, but my taste buds remain alert the whole time just in case. They are not called buds for no reason!

Recently, however, my taste buds have registered some confusion. When I go outside, I feel the same cool air usually reserved for the freezer - in fact, last week it was even colder outside than it was inside the freezer! When this happens my taste buds kick into high gear, but eventually realize no food is thawing and abruptly shut down again. I'm very concerned that this may cause permanent confusion.

More confusing still is the cold shoulder I received when the female owner took off on a little vacation with mom (Scoche). They left me "with" the male owner. Now, I put the word "with" in quotes because most people define the word this way:

"With. Preposition. Accompanied by, accompanying."

Mr. male owner apparently defines it this way:

"With. Preposition. Occasionally visit. Stop by once in a while to soothe one's conscience."

Okay, I admit, he was very nice when he was around. I think the little treats were his way of soothing his own conscience, though I was happy to serve in this way. But overall he seemed to be on the go a lot, leaving me alone with the TV, internet, and some coloring books I've been trying to finish up.

But I wonder why the female owner didn't take me with her. She took Scoche! This was so distressing to me that I could hardly concentrate on my coloring books' plot lines and main characters. More than once I found I needed to go back and reread something I had already colored.

I'm sure they had a great time together. I heard there was a race this weekend, so at first I figured they went there without me - which is too painful to even imagine. But then I remembered that last time the female owner went away she went to sunny California. So I realized that while I was alternating between being bored indoors and freezing outdoors, she and mom were hitting the beaches, having a great old time!

I even found this picture on the camera.

Scoche came home with her foot wrapped up. Racing injury? More likely a surfing or water skiing injury!

They tried to make this up to me by taking me "with" them yesterday. Again, notice the quotation marks. This time "with" apparently meant "to leave in the car while visiting the nice family with the cute little girl."

But the worst part was what they made me wear:

Can you believe this? I'd be happy to wear something cool like a racing blanket, a nice new collar, or even a cape. Even a simple bow would be festive, yet tasteful. But what kind of mockery was this meant to be? I am not a clown, I am a sophisticated racedog! Though if you are trying to make me run off and join the circus this is pretty strong motivation!

All will be forgiven on one condition: Next time I get to go windsurfing.

No more clowning around!