Smarty Spot

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Friday Night Reflections

Well, there hasn’t been a race meet yet in spite of all the hoopla earlier this week. Instead, all we did was sit around and watch the people on TV talk about “the races around the country.” All talk, no action…

I guess it’s important to watch TV though. We’ll be doing plenty of that in the winter I assume, and so it’s good to start practicing. After all, if something is worth doing it’s worth doing right.

And everything you do right takes practice. Consider:

Racing takes practice, obviously. Training your owners takes practice – well, at least to train the female owner. She does not learn quickly, she always has her own way of doing things. The male owner learns fast, though – in fact, I have to be careful that I don’t bend him to my will too quickly. I want him to think that he’s in charge, since he seems to operate best under those conditions.

Now, what was I talking about again? Oh, yes, practice.

Eating also takes practice, if you’re going to do it right. You have to learn how to get your owner to feed you, how to get to the bowl swiftly, how to eat your meal in the fewest bites (the most talented don’t need to chew at all), and of course how to keep the bowl from sliding across the tile floor (hint: it’s all in the wrist).

That last point is pretty important. Early on, I felt like I was playing bumper cars with my bowl, or perhaps hockey. The bowl would glide across the floor and smack into mom’s bowl. While this is fun, it puts your food in jeopardy of being shared. You don’t put that much work into mealtime only to give your food away! This is America, not some communist state! Okay, okay, I have to calm down. I’m sorry, I’m worked up about these things because of all those commentators on TV.

So back to my original point… Wait, what was my original point? Something about air hockey? Bumper cars? Communism?

Well, now I’ve done it. I’ve written myself into a corner. How in the world do those things relate?

Well, speaking of the world, look who showed up on The Wide World of Sports this week:

Way to go, Lucy! Now, that just goes to show that practice makes perfect.

Lucy has clearly learned one of the most important life lessons of all: traction. Even the TV people talk about candidates who have traction, and those who do not. Any candidate for the whippet nationals will need traction, too.

But traction is important in all areas of life. Take a look:

There is no way I’m going to lose that tug of war. Why? Traction.

How can you spring into action at breakfast time if you don’t have traction? You’ll slide across the wood floor like an idiot while your breakfast gets served to those with firmer footing. Mom knows what I’m talking about:

There really isn’t enough traction to go around, as you can see. Like I said, this is America.

Okay, so what was I talking about again? Politics? Tractors? I seem to have forgotten again…

You know, I’m sorry, but obviously my mind isn’t focused enough to write this post.

I think I’ve been watching too much TV!


  • At 5:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    My dear sister Smarty:
    I must say thank you; you got my best side!
    Please don't worry about focus. There are times when we all lose it.
    I know you will never lose it when you do important things like eat and race! Good Luck to ya!
    Love and Kisses,


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