Guinea Piglets

So here’s the story. Mom (Scoche) has not been looking well lately. She’s been gaining weight and panting a lot. And who can blame her? She’s been getting more food than me lately (ahem) and someone’s been turning the temperature waaaaaay up outside.

After a night of panting and pacing, the female owner gets up and suddenly takes mom out the front door – hours before breakfast time. (Well, hours before they feed me breakfast, which should not be confused with when I’m ready to eat!) At first I thought we were going for a walk, but they didn’t come back to get me. I even did my cute trick of looking outside so only my eyes and ears can be seen through the window – this one gets them every time. But for some reason, I was ignored, and off they go in the van.

Then they’re gone for a long time. And I’m thinking, did they go out to breakfast without me? I’m imagining mom eating bacon and eggs while I’m stuck with the usual tripe. But I like tripe better anyway… So then I’m thinking, wait a minute. Just a few days ago the male owner was taken away in the van and never came back! Now I’m starting to worry. What is the female owner up to? Where is she taking everybody?

To my relief, they came home…eventually. Strange as it seems, they had gone out to the woods and hunted down some guinea pigs. They came home with five of them. They are kind of funny looking. They look like puppies except they squeal a lot and have flat faces. The female owner likes guinea pigs, though. I know this because there are pictures like this around the house:



So, okay, this is fine I suppose. I can live with this temporary change of pace for a few days. But then the days go on and it seems the guinea pigs are not going anywhere. In fact, they're having all the fun! They get to climb all over mom and play in the crate. Meanwhile, it’s all I can do to get the back door open so I can go into the back yard and eat a few woodchips. And a walk? Ha! Good luck getting one of those around here!

Well, until yesterday that is. That’s when the male owner returned and I got the first walk I’ve had since these piglets arrived. But it was a pretty short walk, and the temperature in the park was turned way up – just like it’s been in our backyard lately.

I’m beginning to think this is some kind of crazy psychological experiment. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if they are monitoring my every reaction to the strange happenings and abnormal deprivations that I’ve been experiencing. In fact, I think I’m the real guinea pig around here!