Naughty or Nice

I'm a bad influence.

At least that's something I'm trying on for size. I got the idea during one of our road trips when the owners were listening to an audiobook called Marley and Me: Life and Love with the World's Worst Dog.



At first I thought, "Great! After listening to this, they'll appreciate me a hundredfold!"

But no.

Instead, they were just smiling and laughing and all I heard about for the next two weeks was Marley this, Marley that.

Well, then, Marley this!


That's right. These teeth are powerful enough to rip through anything in this house. I could rip through the tile, the brick walls, or even a whole roll of toilet paper. Let that be a warning.

Yes, I am a bad dog. I am the world's worst dog! Or at least second worst if Marley has the other title copyrighted.

Some of you might be wondering whether this has been effective. Hard to tell. It's at least gained me a following -- Scoche has taken to imitating my bad dog ways. Specifically, she's taken up drinking:


Yes, I know, she doesn't look as "bad" as she thinks. With sidekicks like this, no wonder I'm not taken seriously!

But I've hired a promoter to gain me some real notoriety:


Uhhh...

Maybe I should write a book instead: Smarty and Me: Adventures with Myself. But where would I ever find enough material?