Identity Politics

Today is the presidential primary in our state! I was very excited to get my first chance to vote, and made it a point to ride with the owners to the polling location. It turned out to be very animal friendly, as you can see by these signs they posted to direct the different species to their respective polling places.


In my opinion - which I think is a pretty educated opinion, since I overhear commercials and saw some signs on the way in to the polling place - we need a change in Washington. We need a president who is a "man of letters." So I narrowed down my choices to the two candidates with the most letters in their names - Dennis Kucinich and Mike Huckabee. Both of these candidates were pretty funny when I saw them on Comedy Central, and a sense of humor is important to gain my endorsement. "Huckabee" is a little more fun to pronounce, which is vital because the main duty of the president is for us to talk about him.

Two things pushed Huckabee over the top, though. First, he is still in the race and Kucinich isn't. That didn't hurt. But I usually vote the issues, and not just electability. And the issue most dear to me - raw food availability - seems to be Huckabee's strong suit. He himself once ate a squirrel that was popped to perfection in a popcorn machine! Litmus test completed, turned in on time, and graded with an A+!!

I waited patiently in the car while the owners voted. By "patiently" I mean that I barked the whole time, just to make sure that I wasn't forgotten. But I wasn't! Sure enough, they came back out for me.

Or did they?

Once they returned, they drove right off - talk about voter suppression! How is my voice going to be heard?

Fortunately for me...

I'm a superdelegate!


(All I really wanted was the cool sticker anyway.)