Apples and Oranges

People often come up to me and ask, “Smarty, how do you do it? How does a little whippet like you find a way to eat, sleep, walk, sprint around the backyard, and – on top of everything else – maintain such a culturally relevant website?”

To tell the truth, time isn’t really an issue. I’m able to do most of my writing while I’m watching cartoons, so it’s really just a matter of multitasking.

But the real secret is my Macintosh G5, which is very dog friendly. You use a mouse, and do a lot of clicking and dragging – this saves those who are clumsy typists a lot of time. It has a nice big screen, too. The human owners had this waiting for me when I was born. I know it was mine because it had a big picture of me on the screen.

So, why am I telling you all this now? Because my Mac is in the hospital right now and I’m stuck using the laptop. You may not be able to tell the difference (after all my editing work), but I’m telling you – I’m just not a lapdog.

Typing is a big problem. How is a whippet like me supposed to use this tiny keyboard? It doesn’t even have a mouse! Even if I carefully place my paw on the “y” my dew claw ends up hitting the “j.” So instead of “Smarty” you get “Smartyj.” Or instead of “yo yo what’s up doggy?” you get “yjo yjo what’s up doggyj?” I have tried countless ways to avoid this, but haven’t figured it out yet. So I’ve been doing a lot of backspacing. A LOT of backspacing. You wouldn’t know it, but so far it’s taken me several episodes of Blues Clues to get this paragraph written!

However, the dew claw has been handy (no pun intended) for using the shift key. With only one paw I can make a capital P, L, Q, A, or Z. (As they say, it’s all in the wrist!)

The other part I’m having trouble with is the pictures. It’s so easy with the Mac. But watch, I’ll try to put a picture of me on here…



See, that’s not quite right… How about this…



Ummm, not quite. One more try.



Oh well. Hopefully we’ll have my computer back soon!