It's All Coming Back to Me Now

It takes a while to receive mail in New Jersey. Look what I finally received, sent by my good friends from Indiana... Yet another product that has my name written all over it!

Now, it's not their fault that these treats arrived so late. Nor is it the Post Office's fault. It's the way the mail is distributed here at the house... piecemeal, shall we say.

I think these delicious treats might have been retained in the Dead Letter Office for some sort of religious reason. But I finally convinced my owner that I only eat the treats, I never read the box.

Speaking of reading the box, did you notice that it clearly states on the bottom that these are "training or anytime treats"? This means they should be given either during training or anytime - whichever comes first! Well, I've been receiving them any old time the owner feels like it... but the box doesn't say "any old time" it says "anytime" and in dog language there's a big difference. And at this point, I will be old by the time I finish off this box!

And look at what it says on the side of the box. "Give Smarty treats" -- well, I agree with that!!

It also says "reward and reinforce your dogs good behavior." Well, clearly this should read dog's, not dogs, as the grammar police who read this site will be quick to agree. This is especially important because I am the dog. If you make it plural, which is grammatical implausible, these will just be given willy nilly to any pet who happens to be nearby. We can't have that. The word is possessive...just like me.

I'm not saying I won't share... But it sounds like the "higher powers that be" are happy with my current level of sharing, otherwise they wouldn't describe me as having "good behavior." Thanks for noticing! (Speaking of grammar, who is the genius that came up with the phrase "powers that be"??)

But here's the really interesting thing about these treats. If you read the fine print (and I always do), you'll see that it says that these treats will improve my memory! Look near the bottom:


I have to admit, it's true. In fact, just the other day--



Whoa, there goes one of those memories now!

Watch out, here come some more...




Sorry for these interruptions.

It's actually getting a little hard to get through the day because these memories keep flooding my system. And it makes me wonder, could this be the reason my owner doesn't want me to have these treats? Is there something he doesn't want me to remember?

Hmm, maybe that's the reason these treats are considered forbidden fruit!

I'll get to the bottom of this yet... although I have to admit, so far the memories are fairly pleasant.