Laid Off

The other day I saw a show on Animal Planet about "working dogs." They even had a whippet on the program. His name was "Bill" and his job was...racing!

Whoa, wait a minute... Isn't that my job?

But I think there's been a mix-up, because I haven't been taken to the races in a while. In fact, my new job seems to be laying around. That's what I'm told to do these days...

I can only surmise that this must be Bill's job, and they've got the two of us confused. Let this Bill character do the laying, I need to be outside running! That's my job!

It's what I do.

Perhaps I'm hurting myself though. You see, with nothing else to do with my time I've tried to perfect the art of lounging about. I've learned this pose:



And then I saw Scoche do this one:



So I perfected it:



No offense, mom, it's just that the younger generation is always more stylish... plus I have all this time on my paws now.

But perhaps now they think I'm better at laying than running and now I'm trapped. I've been typecast!

But I don't want to be typecast, I'd much rather be stereotyped. You see, to be stereotyped means (I assume) to do two things at once. That's why it's called stereo-type. And I definitely want to live in stereo, doing two things: running and laying.

And in that order.

What will that give this Bill character to do, though? Eating? Walking? No, no, I can handle those too... Well, I'm sure we can find something for him to do, perhaps going to the vet or fetching newspapers. (Now that's a stereotype I'm not into. I'll happily download the news but I'm not one to go fetch it while Scoche gobbles up my breakfast.)

So somebody please issue a new work schedule, turn the temperature up outside, and let's get to the boxes. I've got work to do!