Future Tense

Speaking of the future...

I try to keep up with the cartoons so I know what's happening in the world... or what will happen. One cartoon showed how in the future, people won't eat real meals anymore - they'll just take little pills that contain all the nutrients they need.

I really, really like this idea! You see, if humans reduce their diets to those little tablets, that will leave a lot more food for the rest of us! See how big and happy that dog is? And yet consider how small and needy I am. This could all be changed with a different food distribution system.

However, a terrible thought occurred to me. What if the unthinkable happened? What if my meals became microscopic?



Look closely at that picture... I'm working pretty hard to find the food in that bowl! And look at poor Scoche...



She's too old for this. She doesn't even know the "one paw" trick.


If you can't see what I mean by the "one paw" trick, just click to enlarge. How I wish that I could do the same for my meals!

This hit an all time low yesterday...

Like a scene from a terrible science fiction cartoon, I was taken to get a microchip. Can you believe that? I don't want my diet to consist of microanythings, let alone microchips! If anything I want macrochips, with mucho salsa.

So what they did was take this tiny eating utensil, and they put the microchip onto it. That's right, there was only one chip. Who's ever heard of such a thing? They didn't even let me eat it in a civilized manner, from a bowl. Instead, the eating utensil put it directly into my system... and then they scanned me to make sure I had "eaten" it.

If I remember correctly, the dietician laughed as I left his office and said, "Remember, Big Brother is watching you!" I have no idea what that meant but I'm gonna find out.

Some of my religious friends wondered if this microchip might be the "mark of the beast." I hope not, because, speaking on behalf of beasts everywhere, we'd prefer something a little more substantial!