Smarty Spot

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Good Night and Good Luck!

Ever since the Fourth of July, I've been thinking about American values. Overall, I think I like them.

As American as apple pie. Count me in!

The great American melting pot. Just let me lick it when you're done cooking!

Consumerism. Absolutely! Show me what to consume, and I'm happy to oblige.

Pragmatism. I definitely consider myself pragmatic. More in a practical way than in a theoretical way, though.

But there is one value I'm not quite sure about: diversity. Take a look:

Every night I have certain expectations. And what are you supposed to do when one night you get the scrawny little treat to the left, and another night you get a big slice of bacon and the next night a chicken filet? It seems like it would be better to go with another American value, the well-balanced meal. A chicken filet, with bacon, and a little garnish of "power bone" please!

It seems that this would fulfill that great American dream of E Pluribus Unum: "Out of the many, one."

Now, recently, things became pretty scarce. We had worked our way through the evening treats, and the cupboards were getting pretty bare:

This led me into a very Great Depression.

But we went to Petsmart yesterday, and me and Scoche got to engage in a little bit of freedom of choice. Notice that we did what all true Americans do, we super-sized it!

Now that's all American. Not only is it really, really big... but it provides justice for all!


  • At 1:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Smarty - I love your pragmatic approach. Definitely, one of each treat is a better deal. And "super sizing" is the way to go!

  • At 10:58 PM, Blogger Aubrey said…

    At MY house, the owners seem to give me a treat called a "snausage." I'm not sure what it is, but it does taste pretty good. Although they never seem to give me enough.... and when they do give them to me, they try to make me do things for them, like lay down...I guess they want me to clean the floor? And then they ask me to "shake," presumably because they have itchy hands. But it seems to me their thumbs work better than my paws. I think they should just scratch themselves. Maybe I should talk to PETA about being overworked. We'll see.

    Lucy Pilgrim

  • At 5:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    PETA is located in Norfolk, Virginia and there are regular news stories about people doing pretty radical things in their name.

    Such as stealing animals.

    And worse.

  • At 8:11 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…


    My human is pretty stingy with the treats, too. I'm going to print your column and show it to her.


  • At 10:35 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Hi there Sis:
    It has been a while since I wrote but I have been keeping up with you! If you aren't snacked properly you must start a revolution. Quite frankly, I am going to wait and see how it goes at your home before I try it!
    Lucy, who will try anything that works for others!


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