Impending Birthday Party

I think I need to get registered.

I've been receiving a lot of gifts this summer. If they're birthday gifts, the senders seemed to ignore the list I put together for my March surprise birthday party, which included a BB gun, snorkle, and an EZ Bake oven. I had wondered why the surprise party never happened, but now that gifts are arriving I've caught on -- a birthday party in August really would be a surprise since my birthday was 5 months ago! You guys are too much.

On the other hand, these also could be early Christmas gifts. If this is the case, I need to overnight my Christmas list to the North Pole, because I'm not sure what kind of logic is behind some of these presents.

For example, my vet sent me some gifts:


Obviously these are for me. But what's this??

I don't think I ever asked for a blue body suit. Unless it's meant to be protective covering in case someone fires back at me with their own BB gun...

And then there's this...


Yes, it's true that in my last communication with Santa I said I wanted "my own set of wheels." But don't get me wrong, I like to walk! It's not that I want to get pushed around, I just thought I might be able to cruise the parks a little easier if I could drive there on my own.

Similarly, this gift arrived the other day:


Now I admit, I did ask for a car seat. But what I meant was that I wanted to sit in a car seat as opposed to in a crate - I like to look out the window too, you know! Ideally, I like to ride shotgun.

Which brings us back to that BB gun issue. It needs to have a shock-resistant scope, like this one, and a heat sensor would be cool too. It will only be used for hunting squirrels and I promise not to aim it at any humans except as a joke.

Thanks!