Smarty Spot

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Christmas Slideshow

I'm a visual animal, especially when it comes to presents. So here are a few pictures from our family Christmas, without any commentary from me.

My gift to Scoche:

Scoche's gift to me:

I was assured that this is the style now.

One of my owners gifts...

AKC Papers?? What? How did he find out he didn't officially own me till now? He must have read my November 30 entry. I better start being more careful what I post! I hope this doesn't go to his head!

And here's one I don't really understand:

(click to enlarge)

Now, I don't really get the joke... Blogging vs. barking? Why not both? Clearly that cartoon was created by a human -- they're so polarized!

Oops! I said I wasn't going to give any commentary this time. Well, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! That's right -- both!

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Christmas Lights

The other morning, my owner and I went to the beach and had a great time. Notice what's missing in the picture below? That's right -- a leash!

Running wild and free is a favorite pastime of mine. Of course, you may wonder why I'm not running in the above picture even though I am clearly both wild and free.

The reason is that the beach is so distracting. I am always hoping to find some buried treasure -- an arrowhead, a cannon ball, or any other evidence of epic struggle. If I ever get a metal detector, I'll really be in business.

During the summer, dogs aren't allowed on the beach (crazy, mixed up world!) and so we have to spend our time dodging the fuzz. When you finally are allowed on the beach (which is, ironicallly, in the "off" season) , you have to dodge the foam:

Yikes. It's more scary than it looks. Who knows where that foam has been?

But did you notice all those lights in the sky? I love 'em. I'm a huge fan.

Apparently they're Christmas lights. My owner says that Christmas is about "light shining in the darkness." I'm no theologian (yet) but these lights certainly seem to display divine handiwork.

So speaking of darkness, we went back to the ocean last night to "see the lights." Which was a strange idea not only because it was nighttime, but because it was hard to see anything ... since I was stashed in the trunk!! Okay, okay, I wasn't in the trunk per se -- but riding in a dark crate in the back of the van isn't really much more glamorous.

I begged to ride on the roof, which would have been really snazzy. But as usual I was told "next time" -- which is a polite way of saying, "Stuff that dog into the trunk!" I wonder if that little baby human got to ride on the roof? He always gets special treatment... oh, wait, he probably didn't because the female owner was there and that usually affects those privileges.

So this was basically my view from the "trunk":

I do admit that the crates are slightly better than a trunk in terms of air flow. But it's really not a huge improvement when Scoche is riding next to you and **comment removed by editor**!! No offense intended.

In any case I guess didn't miss much in terms of the beach light show. I heard the owners using words like "tacky" and "gaudy." This was obviously not the light display that I saw:

Natural lighting is clearly the way to go. Or rather, divine lighting!

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Naughty or Nice

I'm a bad influence.

At least that's something I'm trying on for size. I got the idea during one of our road trips when the owners were listening to an audiobook called Marley and Me: Life and Love with the World's Worst Dog.

At first I thought, "Great! After listening to this, they'll appreciate me a hundredfold!"

But no.

Instead, they were just smiling and laughing and all I heard about for the next two weeks was Marley this, Marley that.

Well, then, Marley this!

That's right. These teeth are powerful enough to rip through anything in this house. I could rip through the tile, the brick walls, or even a whole roll of toilet paper. Let that be a warning.

Yes, I am a bad dog. I am the world's worst dog! Or at least second worst if Marley has the other title copyrighted.

Some of you might be wondering whether this has been effective. Hard to tell. It's at least gained me a following -- Scoche has taken to imitating my bad dog ways. Specifically, she's taken up drinking:

Yes, I know, she doesn't look as "bad" as she thinks. With sidekicks like this, no wonder I'm not taken seriously!

But I've hired a promoter to gain me some real notoriety:


Maybe I should write a book instead: Smarty and Me: Adventures with Myself. But where would I ever find enough material?